Monthly .Ulyssian Good

Major "MadeJa" Mugatroid


Monthly Ulyssian Goof

Monthly Ulyssian Good or Monthly Ulyssian Goof

Honour Roll

Could it be YOU?
Were You "Good" or "Goof"?
Tony Collins (Good)

....for his effort in organizing the corner markers for The Walk for Women’s Cancer this year.His task was made more difficult this time with most of the HOG’S pulling out at the last minute.Tony did some juggling and also roped in his son and grandson and managed to cover all of the required corners.

Once again the walkers raised over one million dollars.

Steve Zaretski (Good)
Steve was awarded this mug due to his efforts in saving a lady in distress.

Steve and Kalene became Guardian Angels for Julie on South West Highway when Julie came to a stop and discovered her near new rear tyre had gone very flat. Julie was in the process of removing her jacket when Steve and Kaylene pulled up.

In Steve's own words “Yes –Unfortunately she was unable to be moved after getting screwed. However with the application of a bit of lube and some rubber she was Hot to Ride again. “

Jeff Bloomfield "Bloomers" (Goof)

The ride Jeff was intending to join was clearly recorded on the online Calendar and clarly stated the start point as Midland.

Geoff patiently waited at Gateways all on his lonesome.

This had 2 effects

Jeff missed out on a ride he was looking forward to and, more importaantly,

Leonita missed out on her day of peace & quiet when Geoff unexpectedly arrived home!

Moral of the story - "ALWAYS check the Calendar last thing before you leave on the morning of the ride in case there are last minute changes" - or you've made a mistake!

Andy Gibb (Goof)

Was awarded the Mug of the Month for lapse of memory.

On last Sunday’s ride Andy when on his way to mark a corner and traveling at 100 'something' his pillion passenger raised her arms with glee and the put them out as wings and began to lift off!!!!

She quickly realised that this would not be a good idea and stuck her hands under Andy’s armpits and made a safe landing.

The moral of the story is “When travelling at 100 'something' always remember your pillion “

Jeff Bloomfield "Bloomers" (Goof)

The story is that Bloomers traced his steps back to the Dome after he discovered he had lost the wallet but all to no avail.

It turns out The Manager found the wallet when cleaning and found his Uylesess card inside and being keen to join thought she would ask the question on Facebook, "Does anybody know Jeff Bloomfield?

A Perth Member contacted Jeff and said have you lost your wallet? Yep said Jeff and the guy from Perth said may I give your number to this lady? Yep said Jeff and he and his wallet were soon back together.

Tony Collins (Good)

His story is that Allison was in Perth and at the Mosman Park Vet due the imminent arrival of a litter of Puppies.

Things went ok for a while with 2 pups delivered but 1 still to come .

With time ticking Allison phoned Tony and asked if she could bring Mum and the kids to his place and if he could help deliver the last pup which was in the breach position.

No probs said Tony and so the vigil began with Allison as the senior Mid Wife and Tony as the Learner.The outcome was the successful delivery of said pup.

Paul Turner (Goof)

His story took place on the just completed Wongan Hills Weekend away.

The ride to Wongan had gone well and on reaching Wongan we pulled into the servo for a refuel, as this is a card set up there was a wait wiih TEC sitting last behind Paul Turner and his Can Am when for no reason Paul reversed into TEC. What the? And then Mr and Mrs TEC hit the deck.!!!!!

Once we sorted ourselves out and found that we were shaken but not stirred we checked on our wine bottles that we had packed for later and found them to be intact.

Eileen Garside
For hitherto unsuspected darts prowess. After dinner at Wongan Hills Cafe of Note, had been in the scorer role but took Rod’s shot as he was at the bar. A one and a double one was required for a team win. Two throws – job done! Unbelievable!! A reflection of a misspent youth perhaps?
Simon Beattie
For deciding that the forecourt at the Meckering petrol station needed redecorating with his face. Nice splatter design done with his blood. Always good to look when stepping between bowsers as often they are on a raised concrete dais…
Simon Beattie (Goof)
This is the sorry tale of Simon and his “ Wheely” silly wheel mix up.

Simon took his bike to Tony Collins for a service & at that time it was agreed that Simon needed a new front tyre.

So off with the wheel & he and Tony took it to Tyres for Bikes.

“Leave it with me" was the instruction - so they did.

Back at Tony’s they enjoyed lunch & then the phone rang with the happy news - “Your wheel is ready“.

So off they went. Tony parked outside. Simon went in – picked up the wheel – put it into the back of the car - and the lads headed back to Tony’s.

Now back at the workshop Tony said “Right Simon lets have the wheel & and we will fit it back on "Right oh“, said Simon who then gathered the wheel from the car and gave it to Tony.

”Yikes“ said Tony. “How do think we will go putting this on, this is a Rear wheel for a Sports Bike “.

“Oh Sugar” said Simon (or similar!) “I did not notice the difference when we picked it up“.

So another trip to Vic Park to put right Simon's "Wheely" silly mistake.

Mick Katarski (Goof)

On the annual "Mike Smith 5 Towns Ride" held for 2020 on November 15th at

Bindoon, Mick earned his “Goof Mug of the Month” - not for filling his Motor Bike with

diesel - in itself “Worthy enough” but for his extensive research of all bowsers whilst

loudly proclaiming “I don’t want to get this wrong and fill my bike with diesel”, and

then promptly............................... did!

His Gold Wing had gallantly taken him on as far as the bakery, however after the

consumption of many Sticky Buns by all – it was uttered – mount up, start your bikes

– we are heading home.

"NO" exclaimed Mick’s Gold Wing, I... do.... not.... like.... Diesel!!

The rest they say is History


Simon Beattie (Good)

Simon is awarded the "Good" Mug of The Month - for October 2020!

The reason for this surprise turn of events is as follows:

Simon volunteered to lead a recent ride listed as “Free Ride” in the Calendar. He had to overcame numerous problems on the route he chose due to road closures for a cycling event through the hills.

Throughout this ride Simon was let down by lack of corner markers but he constantly kept an eye out for TEC and we manged to keep all toghether without losses.

As Simon had his speed limiter as pillion the entire ride was at or slightly below the speed limit.

It was most unusual to see Simon ride around corners in such an upright postion - no knee draggin' on that day!

Simon is to be congratulated for finally making it over to the “Good Side" of the mugs.



Julie Daly (Good)

Julie was out walking her dog one sunny afternoon when she came upon a gentleman who was calling out for help as he slowly fell to his knees, and then on to the ground.

So, Julie being a nurse, immediately thought I have to help this fellow but -dilemma - I also have my hands full with my dog – what to do?

As luck would have it, her friend and neighbour Jo (also a nurse) was driving by and could see that Julie had a problem so she pulled up, rushed over and together they began administering CPR.

They took it in turns at providing the life-saving CPR and to hold the dog until the Paramedics arrived. A third passer by happened by and when he asked if he could help, Julie - well used to taking command - promtly gave him instructions: "On the count of 5 take over with these compressions"!

The Paramedics said due to Julie and her “Troops” they had saved this man's life.

At the February meeting Julie pointed out that every member should learn the skill of CPR - it is better to be in a position to do something rather than just stand and look on helplessly.

So this is the second time Julie has been awarded "Good Mug of The Month" (see 10/19) for her “Angelic Behaviour”!

Julie Daly (Good)

At the start of Andy Gibbs ride on August 25th (2019), he made it clear that this would be a long ride and that we should take on fuel at Morning Tea – Bindoon, as there would be limited opportunities from there on.

This information was not heeded by all!

Also, at the start of the ride, Julie took on the role of escort for Steven (L Plates) on his Triumph.

This was to prove "challenging" as it turned out Steven was one of those who did not heed Andy’s explicit fuel instructions and so found himself out of fuel 5 KM short of the first Servo on Wanneroo Road!

Julie headed off to the Servo, purchased a fuel can and fuel, returned to the "hapless" Steven and then continued her escort duties, returning him home safely to his "digs" in South Fremantle.

As yet the Pope has not bestowed her with a Sainthood so the least we could do was to award her the "Good Mug of The Month"!

Reg Williamson (Good)

For showing excellent Community spirit and for creating a pleasant ambience for fellow riders by cleaning up the carpark adjacent to our start point each week.

Further excelling by graduating up to a shopping trolley - thus increasing his carrying capacity!

Was awarded a pair of “ near new “ disposable gloves for his Health and Safety and the Good Mug of The Month.

Geoff Ball (Goof)

Colin's Ride

Our briefing was that we were going to Pinjarra Bakery for Morning Tea via Jarrahdale, then on to Logue Brook Dam for lunch.
Now – TEC – Has been riding without his Speed Limiter for 3 weeks due to her having had a day procedure on her foot, and via the Grapevine she had heard he has had a ‘BALL’ mis-behaving ---- Cream Cakes for Morning Tea, Exotic Lunches -----He thinks he had tricked her -----but of course she had seen the Visa Card !!!!

Passing through Jarrahdale --- Jill was sure she had seen Geoff Bloomfield alighting from his motor bike (in a hurry – mind you as it turned out he was experiencing a Serious Call of Nature). Jill gave TEC the obligatory tap on the side of the head and quickly passed on what she had seen ---- With fragrant dis-regard to her observation – his curt reply was ‘No that was not Bloomers”. Jill then worried all the way to the BAKERY, that we had lost “one of our Chickens”

Once the error of his ways were admitted TEC said to Geoff, "Sorry– but you should have indicated “All OK or I Need Help”". A PoorTradesman always blames his Tools - Jill says!


Colin Booth (Goof)

Same ride and another “ Deserter “ Colin Booth was also “Snapped“ on Toodyay Road but wait..... there's more!!!

Still on the way home he was “Snapped“ again on Leach Highway!!!

Colin was awarded his “Goof“ MOM for getting caught


Michael Bligh (Goof)

Michael was awarded the “Goof‘ MOM for leaving Simon’s ride early, which we may add had been led to Toodyay at the speed limit!!!

Michael then proceeded to chase down a “Deserter“ and was “snapped“-------- 6 Points and $800.00!!

He was awarded the MOM for the size of the fine!

Mark Thomas (Good)
Mark was awarded the “Good“ MOM for returning from the corner he was marking at the junction of Berry Road and Toodyay Road, as TEC had not arrived and then helping out with our patient Graeme who had had an "off"
Tony Collins (Goof)
Mug of the Month and "inaugural"small Trowel with Ribbon for “Bogging” the Gold Wing. Tony having been second in line became the Corner Marker. The road was narrow, however the apron appeared to be constructed of solid blue metal. So in to this he rode, and immediately experienced a “sinking feeling” So imagine the surprised looks on the faces of those who came upon the corner to see a Gold Wing standing perfectly upright with no side stand and the Rider standing erect but some feet away! A group of us were able to assist Tony remove the Gold Wing from the blue metal trap by lifting hard at the rear while Tony skilfully guided the Bike on to solid ground
Pat Tinnelly ( Rare Double Award - Goof & Good)


for stepping in at the last moment on the day to lead a ride.



for misleading us at the pre-ride announcements as to where we were going to end up. So finally when we arrived at the Morning Tea destination which was completely different to where he had said we were going, we asked the Question! What happened to your original plan, he answered

“I was just feeling mischievous!”

Paul Turner (Goof)

for being an “Impatient” Corner Marker having cleared off before Tail End Charlie had arrived.

Luckily TEC knew where to go, so all was not lost.

Gary Phillips (Goof)

for coming home from Kalbarri early so he could attend the Branch AGM, but had the wrong week.

The Meeting was the Week after!!

John Peffer (Goof)
for an Emergency Fuel Stop at Regans Ford for Mr Paul Turner. Imagine TEC’s surprise as the group headed off making our way to Lancelin turned right on to Brand Highway, and watched John turn LEFT! TEC waited for his return however in the end decided he best push on. Meanwhile John hurtling towards Geraldton realised he was “ALL ALONE” stopped turned around and travelling at what must have been at the “speed of light” caught up with all of us at Lancelin where we enjoyed Lunch.
Simon Beattie (Goof)

when at morning tea at Mundaring he dropped his Pie,

then at Lunch at Two Rocks he dropped his Keys (unknowingly) in the Car Park.

Luckily a couple realized them to be for a Motor Bike (must have been on a Gold Wing Key Ring!!) sought out the Motor Bike Rider who had lost keys. None of us owned up but eventually Simon said

“Oh My Gawd – they are my Keys!"

President Colin Booth (Goof)

for throwing away a pair of worn out Bike Jeans which contained his very active Wallet.

Not only did he throw the lot in the bin, but he purposely rushed the Bin out to the Truck, thus ensuring that his Wallet is now confined to Land Fill.

Pat Tinnelly (Goof)

for having us retrace our steps back to Toodyay where we had enjoyed our Lunch as he was convinced he had left his Mobile Phone on a Table.

SHOCK, HORROR. There is no Phone on the Table or handed in to the good folk behind the counter –

SURPRISE – Oh Here it is – in the Back Pocket of my Jeans.

Michael Bligh (Goof)

for admitting that whilst taking a corner in Kalamunda he allowed the Kerb to “Attack”.

Thankfully although inwardly terrified he managed to stave off this “Savage” Kerb and continue the ride.

The moral of this story is if no one saw it, then it did not happen, and if you are going to “spill the beans” don’t do so in TEC’s earshot (and remember he now has a Hearing Aid!)

Rob Chapman (TBA)


No MOM for August however we did have a“dis-honourable” mention. This was for Rob Chapman for his antics with a brand new BMW loan bike. He had put his BMW in for a service and was about to leave a wet car park when he stalled said bike while attempting a turn! Over he went. Out of the show room came many, not to help Rob from his puddle but to save the BIKE! "Look what you have done", they said. "That will cost you $150.00 - however, because you are our customer $100.00 will do!"

Nice - to be appreciated!

Julie Stephens (Goof)

sadly was on her first ride with us and finding herself in second place simply followed the leader - not realising we had a corner-marker system! Luckily the ride was compact and no “ chickens” were lost.

We have not seen Julie since!

Simon Beattie (Goof)

At the start of Will’s ride Simon announced this was his ride!

"No it is not we all cried, it is Will’s ride”.

Will then went on to explain how we would be going to Bindoon for morning tea, which did include O’Briens Road however to get to O’Briens road we would be going up Reen Road, this Simon did not hear as he was not listening! So on arrival at O’Briens Road and finding no corner marker he decided he would become one , and so the ride went from 10 to 5 until we were all reunited at Bindoon!


Jeff Bloomfield "Bloomers" (Good x 2)
This was on our ride to the Moondyne Festival in Toodyay when Bruce lost / found / hid his top box. It was decided at lunch that some of us would return the way we had come and Bloomers would transport the Top Box home to the house of Bruce – a very kind offer.
In June Bloomers also received the Good MOM. This was again on a ride led by us to Tammin.On West Dale road Bruce (again!) was found to have a flat rear tyre. TEC, Patrick and Bloomers stopped to assist and after many attempts at repairs gave up and found a kind farmer up the road who agreed to let them store the bike in his shed, Bloomers then transported Bruce to the home of Bruce!
Andy Gibb (Goof)
On the Saturday Andy went to Simon’s house with “New Side Car Aquisition” where they Ooohed and Ahhhed, however Simon did notice that there was no split-pin holding the wheel nut in place on the side-car and it was decided that they should “fix that!” ASAP. As it was late they finished up for the day, went inside and proceeded to demolish a number of bottles of Scotch Whisky.
Next morning i.e. Sunday they had planned to join the ride, however in their “whisky fog” they set their alarm for PM rather than AM and consequently slept in.
Undaunted they charged up through Beverley, trying to catch the ride (but never did) and one can only imagine the speeds the pair of them attained in the “Great Chase”
Upon returning to Perth, it was decided they would visit the chap who had fitted the side-car to say how well it had gone. He casually remarked THERE APPEARS TO BE NO NUT HOLDING THAT WHEEL ON – and with 2 wiggles removed it!!!!
A new castle nut and split pin was then fitted to the side-car of one very embarrassed One Legged Motor Cycle Rider.


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